my heart wants to control my mind, and my mind wants to control my heart. the contradiction between the two is almost too much to handle all on my own. the way of life that i have so keenly become accustomed to is now slowly fading away from all i had ever set plans for. but then i guess plans are just code word for intentions without actions. because i have many of those. and it seems like whatever i do, it is put back and away. far from thinking. because it's easier to forget the pain of something when you don't really want it, well, only if you are real tricky. i am not sure where i stand at this moment. who i am. or what i want in life. but then again, who is? i want to know. and i want to do what i know is right. and maybe what's right to me is not right to others. there should be no set plan. because we are all different. but maybe the right thing may be walking alone for a while. it is better to walk alone than to walk with thieves, robbers and wolves-- i look up to the light when i feel alone and i know God will be with me. i only hope i can keep up this mentality. because right now, it is far too hard.
Posted by Mards at 2:56 PM