news flash.

i'm really not having a good week.
or month.
and just to let you all know, this is my blog.
my words.
my thoughts.
i can say whatever i want on here. it's sorta like my journal.
and i don't really care who reads this. but just know that i will say how i feel no matter what.
don't like it? don't read it.
i am really not here to please anyone. if i was i would write about kittens and love and photography or any number of things.
but these are my thoughts. sad, happy and everywhere in between.
i don't really care if you don't like it. because i am no here to please you.

with that said, i will just say this.
i am super sad.
i don't think i have ever been this unhappy and unsatisfied with life as i am right now.
Ephraim was not the place for me to come. i feel so isolated and lonely.
i've seriously cried every day this week.
in high school i was just so ready to get out and to be on my own, and that part i still love.
i love my time away. but i also miss my family. my cat. my car and my friends.
i can't explain to you how truly unhappy i am.
i sit in my room everyday and watch Netflix (now currently watching Grey's Anatomy)
i just wish i could get out of this rut. because if i don't, i will go insane.
i just need my moment to be sad. and that's okay.
no one can be happy all the time.

i'm off to cry some more then probs fall into a Netflix coma.
someone please cheer me up.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

preach it sista. you sound exactly like me when i was down there, grey's and all. chin up girl and rely on the lord for his guidance and his comfort. you and i have had the same struggles and the same thoughts and feelings. we are so alike. mardi you are such a beautiful person. and you are your own person which makes you 10x better than everybody else. i know that words like this don't do much for you when you are so down, you don't want to believe no matter how true they are or how much the person saying them loves you. ephriam sucks. and i honestly and sincerely hurt for you. because i know exactly what you are going through. and you're right. what you say on your blog is what ever you want, no one has any right to judge you or to be rude. i am so glad that you know that, because a lot of people don't. mardi i am so incredibly blessed to be your friend and to have you in my life. so, sweetheart, remember that you are beautiful and that you can do hard things. follow your heart and don't let anybody keep you from doing just that. i love you.

love, hailey