rant.

oh the worst thing i can think of in this world is jealousy. i put that in green because it's the green monster. and oh man, does it suck. big time.


now, usually i am not a very jealous person at all. but when it comes down to certain things, i am. big time. and it's really not cool. and i can even admit it. but i honestly can't help it. the worst is when i just sit and constantly think about it. why i am jealous. then i start to beat at myself, thinking of ways and things of why i am not good enough. and let me just say, it's exhausting. i can't think of a more tiring thing (mentally of course) and then i realized that i just need to stop. so what if it happened? it doesn't mean i'm not good enough or that something is wrong with me, it doesn't mean that at all. and i need to just stop over analyzing it. i tend to get myself into trouble. and i don't enjoy it very much.


so, i've gotten over it. sure, it's still in my mind. but i don't need to sit and think about it. i won't get anything done. and it's just something that i'm going to need to keep working on. so for now, i am content. i wasn't earlier, thats for sure. but things are all good now. i'm all good.


jeez, this blogging thing is helping me a ton, thank goodness for it. and thank goodness for this holiday season. it brings me so much joy. i can't wait for christmas. i love this time of year, but i also get so annoyed. shopping and getting things and stuff is not what the real christmas is about. but we live in a material world, so yeah, that's what it means to everyone else. sure, it's a nice excuse to get things and stuff. i rather enjoy it, don't get me wrong. but lets not forget why it started.


merry christmas everyone. and a happy new year. so cheesy, but real.