at this time of year, i usually feel a bit more festive with holiday joy and spirit. but- this year, something is different. i can't quite put my finger on it. is it the weather? is it the people? is it me? it could be anything, but i just don't really know quite what it is. also, i hope i'm not the only one who feels this way, because if i am, then i am a modern day scrooge. and who wants that? especially with the recession and all (that was a joke)

lots has been happening, and blogging is not on the top of my to do list, at least not serious blogging. what i've said lately is so stupid and lame. you can disregard it. sorry ladies and gentlemen. but now, when i actually have time and want to write about things, i have NO idea what to write. i think that blogging went through a big BOOM and everyone wanted in. including me. we all have our blogging hero's and try to change to be like them, when that is not the case. i've recently personally learned that, it really doesn't matter if people read my blog. why should it? it's not their blog, it's mine. duh. so whatever i write, it's mostly for my own good. and simply because i want to write, not so i can have comments and views.

i'm so glad i learned this now, because, i don't think i have good enough writing skills or enough people who'd want to read. so now that i'm okay with it all, i can write about anything. maybe this is just to document my life. who does journals these days (answer: i do)

so, i will write things i want to remember, because there is nothing like writing something you want to remember online, because, it will always be there. ALWAYS. so, let me chose my words and stories carefully.

DISCLAIMER: at times i will mention people. friends, people i know, enemies, family, animals... whatever. but- if you are mentioned and do not like it, i apologize now.

now that the dirty (as is messy) stuff is over, let me write!

today was bloody good. i've come to realize that, throughout all my life, i will have trials, and how the outcome is does not need to affect how i deal with people. things happen for a reason, good or bad. and learning that will serve me well later in life, and now! trials come and go and some honestly just suck, i will say that straight up. but i think the point is to try to find a good and constructive way to deal with them instead of becoming mad and blaming the world. i'm so glad i've learned this lately, because i know it will serve me well in life. i've also really learned that it's good to have a sense of humor through all things (which i usually do) because, it will lighten the mood and make the bad seem not as bad.

wow, now im just rambling and going on for nothing. but that's alright (or as i learned today from mr. deans, it's all right, not alright. duh mardi)

so indeed, today was a good day. it had it's up's and down's, but doesn't every day? don't answer that. but i am very blessed for all that my life has. really. and so are YOU. don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise.

i'm off to bed. nighty night.

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