7.27.2015

I miss you.

Every single day is hard to face knowing that my amazingly sassy brother isn't here anymore. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him. I miss all the adventures and heart to hearts we had. I miss how we would both talk about how hot guys are. Or how he would sing Celine Dion. How we would watch Drop Dead Diva and laugh our asses off. I miss him making some sort of food for me. I miss listening to him play the piano. Or watch as he drew something amazing. Or let him crappily paint my nails. I miss hearing him sing high pitched. I even miss sitting with him while he smoked and laughed at life. I hated seeing men break his heart, jobs firing him for having seizures, and seeing him drop to the ground and shake. His seizures were so scary and it was something that none of us could help. We just had to be on the ground with him while he was shaking. Or we would have him come home with cuts and bruises all over his body and hear about where he had another seizure at. I DON'T miss any of that because it was hard for him. While he would never truly admit it, it was hard.

Michael was the happiest and funniest person ever. He would always be laughing. He gave the best back rubs and he was the most incredible cuddler. I miss my brother. It's insane how much I miss him. But this life was too hard and painful for him. He deserved better. While I wish I could have him back, I'm happy that he is off doing better and bigger things. I wish I could have truly said goodbye to him instead of hold his hand in the hospital. I wish I could have done that.

Be insanely grateful for the people around you. You NEVER know when they will leave this earth. You never know if today will be your last day with them. Keep them close. Don't let anger get the best of your relationship. Take in the annoying factors of each person (including your own) and continually love the people in your life. It would break your heart even more to have to say goodbye after letting something get in the way of your relationship.

I miss my Michael. But I feel like he is still here with me. I will always love and miss him like crazy.
9.8.1988-3.5.2015