i just really need to talk right now. i need to sit down and say how i am feeling.
it won't be beautiful or entertaining. but it is the truth. and the truth is sometimes ugly.
i just need to write furiously for right now. i can regret it later.
i'm sitting here all alone in my crappy apartment listening to music that is far too depressing for my current situation.
i feel completely heartbroken and devastated.
i know that i felt peace before, and in some odd way i still do.
but i've all of a sudden just come face to face with reality.
and reality can suck it.
i can't seem to stop crying. and i can't seem to get your voice out of my head. why won't it go away?
is this the grieving process or am i just going insane? either way, it's the worst.
i feel as if everything is changed. i am changed. you changed me. this changed me.
never had to deal with death before and i think that it is just such a
shock for me. and i don't quite know how to deal with it.
i don't quite know how to just say goodbye for right now. i thought i did, but i don't.
i will miss everything about you.
why you? seriously, why you?
today keeps replaying in my mind and so does these past few days.
keep thinking that this is some horrible nightmare and that it will
just go away if i slap myself back into reality. but, it's not. and it
never will be.
i know you're in a better place. and that is wonderful. you are happy now.
but it left so many people heartbroken.
i miss you Squidders.