i'm going to be honest

oh this post may be the death of me. but it is one that i need to get out into the open. and NO, i am not embarrassed...too much.
i am off to school in 8 days, if you haven't gotten the hint from my incessant talking about it.
now, sharing personal space is okay with me until it comes to one thing. this one thing is something that you don't do in front of strangers. or really, anyone.
and that is...farting.
hello people, everyone does it. this is one thing that someone can't deny doing. because we all do. even celebrities, if that makes you feel any better.

i think it is the Thomas genes in me that makes this an ever present thing in my life. i am willing to admit it. it is okay. but i don't think that my new roommates will like this. sorry if any of you are reading this, if you are....sorry in advance.

i know this is probably gross. but hey...farts 4 lyfe.
fart or die...literally. it can kill you.
you know that feeling when you are holding it in and you feel like your stomach is giving birth to the devils pitchfork (picture shown for imagining purposes)

that is the worst. and i guess this feeling will be upon me until:
1. i get medical attention, but lets be real...that is a joke.
2. my roommates accept me for who i am...and fast.

farts don't always lead to pain and awkward times. i once read this story about how a fart made two people fall in love. the girl was holding one in, and he was being polite and did something after their 3rd date, when her pain started. she panicked and made him take her home all while she is in so much pain. people, if you haven't experienced this pain, YOU'RE NOT MISSING OUT. anyways, back to the story. she couldn't hold it in any longer so she did a bad deed and it got awkward. she ran into her apartment to extinguish the pain, if you catch my drift. when she heard a knock on her bathroom door, it was him. he was standing there the whole time. she was mortified. she left her bag in the car and he returned it and left. he called her a few days later and now they are married.
if that isn't love, i don't know what is.

wish me luck at school. hopefully the gas gods will find it in their hearts to spare me some awkward times.
p.s. this is probably a bad reflection on me. i'm not the gas queen. i, like every human, farts.


Melia Clegg said...

i just laughed so hard.

breanna fae hopkins said...

better out than in i always say. -shrek.
i loved this post, i laughed real hard!

Hailey said...

mardi i just love you.
school will be awesome. :)