working my way back.

when i was in 9th grade all i would do was write.
i always had some ghetto notebook and a pen with me because i always had "inspiration" of what to write about next.
i thought my words were so deep.
i would read them over and over again just thinking how amazing i was at it.
they really were crap now that i look over them, but they made me feel like i was good at it.
i wrote because i needed to and because it was something i was good at.
as the years have passed i haven't written like i have before. i didn't care what my words said.
rude things.
untrue things.
happy things.
sad things.
boring things.
stupid things.
they were my words and my words mattered to me.

i wish i could get the drive back into my life to write like i used to.
i spent my time thinking of beautiful words to come together and to form something that i thought was life changing.
i knew they sucked sometimes, but i still felt good about it because they were mine. and not some copied words i liked.

if the world all wrote like they loved their words think how much better they would feel.
they would be able to see accomplishment on paper with beautiful phrases and feelings.
i am working my way back to that because it made me feel good about myself, not because i am good and most certainly not because i want people to praise me for what i write, because lets face it, it sucks.
im working my way back because it is the right thing to do.
so here is to beautiful words, and putting my thoughts and feelings out onto paper.