men, please

as a woman of the dating age, and in the situation that i do date,
there are a few things that every i and every girl want but isn't so sure how to come off doing it when it comes to the actual date (examples shown below)
so, it's high time that we (as in i, just because i want to) coach you young girls and boys to the do's and don'ts (whaaa, weird word) of dating.

the beginning of the date:
boys: if picking the girl up from her house, actually go up to the door and knock. don't you dare honk or text. doing so is cause for immediate removal from the date.
girls: when he comes to the door, obviously answer it. if your parents feel so inclined to meet this charming young man, then let it happen. even though we all know, that's kinda embarrassing.

the awkward part?: yeah. this is the part when you walk to the car and into buildings.
boys: "do i open the door for her" the answer? YES. even though it may seem weird, it shows that you actually do care about this young lady and she's not just some hunk of meat you can show off to "the boys" i promise that she will not bite, and she will of course say thank you if she has any class and manners, which, she should.
girls: "do i walk to the car door and just open it myself?" answer? NO. let him do it. i know it may seem weird going to see if he's going to open the door for you or not, but you can generally tell when he's not. if you see him coming with you, LET HIM OPEN THE DOOR. don't play it off all modest and what not, it's his job (says society, and women) and say thank you, it's awkward for him to even do this, so saying thank you will hopefully make him relax a little.

the process of the actual date: now this entirely depends on what you are doing, but we are just being pretty general here
boys: there is one huge huge thing that you should NEVER do. and here it is, DON'T LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN WHILE ON THE DATE. i don't care if you and your girl are "just friends" and you needed a Friday night date. she came to have a good time. and even if you are "just friends", let me tell you, it's pretty offensive. it's just a no no. don't say stuff like, "woah, see that hot chick at 10 o'clock?" no, we are not hanging with "the boys" rating girls at the local walmart. this is for real. also, don't go off and leave your date. only a real D-bag would do this. and don't be one. you have more to you than that. just know that this night you have planned is for you two to have, don't go wasting it.
girls: there is one huge huge thing that you should NEVER do. and here it is, DON'T LOOK AT OTHER MEN WHILE ON THE DATE. the same advice for the boys is the same for you. but replace the word girl for boy. it's all the same. he had the nerve to actually ask you out. so the good thing is to give him the respect. it's sorta like saying thank you the whole night, just with your actions. also, don't go on talking on and on about yourself or your life. get to know him. and we all know that the guy you are going out with probably won't ask you questions. it may seem annoying and you won't want to do it. but just start talking. he will start to talk, and if he doesn't, then, hope your dinner or movie comes faster.

the drop off:
boys: once again, go and open the door for her. don't you dare just give her a high five or a hand shake. hugs are very appropriate. even if you feel so weird about it. it's okay. hugs can be given in a friendly way. i promise. walk her up to the door and say something nice. just don't walk away. say something like, "i had a really good time. thank you so much for coming with me tonight" or whatever your heart says to say. once at her door is your business. just remember who you are.
girls: let him open the door for you. again, i know it feels weird. let him give you a hug if he goes in for it. as he walks you up to your door and he says whatever he says, make sure you tell him thank you. he took his time and money all to let you have a good evening. and just the same for the boys, what happens at the door is your business. just remember who you are.

-if hand holding is involved. IT'S HONESTLY OKAY. first, remain calm. this does not automatically sell your soul to each other. it can mean many things. and that, i don't know. and now, this advice is for both boys and girls. this may be awkward, but, we might as well address it. if your hand is getting all sweaty and nasty, YOU CAN LET GO. it's not as if as soon as you let go sudden death occurs. let it dry (hahahaha) and just go back to your goood ol'e affection. and it's not going to be offensive. i'm sure they can sense it too. just go with the flow. nothing needs to be all set in stone.
-kissing etc: now ladies and gentlemen. whatever happens in this area is your business. just honestly don't do something that you know you wouldn't want done to you. make sense? just know that if she other person is trying to back off, back off. don't pressure the other person into a good night kiss. also, girls would love a kiss on the cheek. it's just nice. i suggest noooo kissing on first date. but, whatever. it's your life.
-the parents: this more happens to be for girls because you are most likely going to be at home when the male suitor arrives to fetch you from your home. but, i know it's weird and makes you feel nervous, but it's nice to let your parents meet the boy who is taking you out. ONLY if the parents ask though (in my opinion) it will be okay. and will not ruin your night. hopefully.
-texting: for both boys and girls. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TEXT DURING YOUR DATE AT ANY TIME. it is rude rude rude. if you absolutely have to (hopefully just to your parents or whatever) excuse yourself to the bathroom or somewhere where you are alone. don't take forever and forget about it the rest of the night. it's honestly not very nice to have someone texting while you are trying to talk to them and what not. if the temptation is too great, simply leave your phone at home. the world will not end without a simple text from you.

with these few things your night is sure to be a great success. if you have any others to add, comment below. dating is generally very fun, unless you get some psych whack job you stalks you. but, things will all be okay. and above all, just try to remain yourself. don't lie to impress the person you are with. things will go lots smoother for you. i promise. and with that, GO ASK SOMEONE OUT. (maybe me?)


hannah joel said...

This has so much thought put into it, I love it!
It's put into perspective quite perfectly!
So great!


Emie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kaylla said...

I loved this post Mardi :) :) really interesting and entertaining! hahaha
just another note about hand-holding that I learned, usually (for me at least) when he wants to hold my hand it's because I've stated that my hands are cold. If it gets sweaty, the cold hands are again a good excuse - if you don't want to let go, you can just tell him to warm up the other one. It can be funny especially if neither of you want to let go and you just keep switching hands.
yup - love ya Mardi! I loved your post! :D <3
ps-sorry for the deleted comments above - my mom wasn't signed out of her account and my computer flipped out :) ha

rue. said...

good thing i just found your blog because a. i love it. b. this post had me lol'ing like nobody's business.