i think in our misunderstanding of the way things work, we misunderstand how beautiful suffering can be, but I don't willingly sign up for it. but when it comes, we forget. we forget that God is in control and He has a way of making the most miserable thing look beautiful.
--
so as not to say when we are suffering, i feel numb. to the very deapest part of my being. i feel as if all meaning of loss is outweighed. and i can't figure out how to fix it. it's out of my control and i can't stand it. i feel as if a thousand daggers have stabbed my back the same way a thousand eyes have pierced my heart and scorned it for all it's worth. i feel as though nothing is right. and my loss of words are defening. i feel my shame sink deep into what i've tried so hard to keep innocent. and i feel as if it all will end right here, and right now. i am chilled to the bone in numbness. i hate this feeling. like i'm here. but i'm not. i talk, but don't speak. i listen but i don't hear. i cry but i don't feel. like i'm seen but i'm invisible. like everything is okay but the ground underneath me is crumbling. like i care but i don't. maybe this feeling is unevitable. but maybe not. who knows? we are all confused.
and just sometimes, we need to experience hard things in order to become stronger. we live in a world that is protected and tried to create perfection. so we never learn how to be immune, how to heal, how to overcome.
but we can. we just don't realize it.
God has a plan. i know it. or else i would be totally without hope. and sure, things go wrong, but it doesnt mean it's a punishment. and the thing i think we really need to remember in all our pain, is that it's worth it all in the end. never give up.
don't you dare ever give up.
2 comments:
i love this. i absolutely love what you have to say, its all inspirational and telling everyone basically to not give up& shows that you have gone through pain& can relate. i love this.
i love this, so much.
you have talent.
Post a Comment