WORDS

Whenever the sun decides to fade away and the darkness creeps up, I instantly become more aware
Terrified
Lonesome
Upset
And it isn't like I'm scared of the actual dark.
Just scared of the companions that it brings.
My darkest thoughts and most personal demons always like to come out once the warmth and security of the day goes away.
They are no longer needing to hide.
The thoughts that stay all throughout the day even become more scared once the dark has arrived.
I feel wired with fear and anxiety.
No sleep for me.
Only reoccurring thoughts and moments of numbness.
Overthinking my worth
Words
Failures
Body image
Fear of hatred
Disgust.
They all know their place in my mind.
Settle in.
Make themselves at home.
Set up another night of endless thoughts accompanied by a few too many tears.
And why is that?
Why do they wait around and attack with more force when the day is needing to end?
Why make their obvious presence when the success of the day comes to a close?
Who really even knows.
But hey, look, the darkness has arrived.
I guess I'll go sit and let my thoughts take their usual places.
I won't sleep.
I'll just wait around for the sun to force their presence to go away, at least for a little while.


THESE are my personal demons.